Tag Archives: Blogging

Ask someone else

My friend, Linda G. Hill, runs a writing group here on WordPress. She actually has a few of them, but I take part in her Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday one. She gives us a word or phrase as a prompt, and we organically write about it. No edits allowed, other than fixing typos. It’s a pretty neat idea, and often interesting to see what comes out. Often, it’s not what you intend when you start the essay. I started writing in this blog as part of my healing process, though lately it seems I only write because I receive her prompt. Time gets away from me, and I’m grateful to have Linda gently kicking me in the butt, keeping me writing. I think sometimes I’m so busy being a mom and a nurse and wearing all the other hats I wear, that I forget that I’m a writer. Thankfully, she reminds me.

I’ve never met her, and only know her from her blog, so we’ll see how this comes out. I wrote a similar post a few weeks ago ( I am ) which was inspired by one of her own posts. I thought it might be neat to see what she is to me. This week’s prompt is “ask someone else”, meaning to ask someone else for the prompt. As she is tending to her sick child, I suggested she take that prompt and use it in her real life, asking someone else to manage the blogging world for a bit. One can only juggle so much, Linda. So, I’m taking it upon myself to write this week’s post for you, in case you find yourself with too much going on…

Who is Linda?

Linda is a writer.

Linda is a mom.

Linda is a woman.

Linda is a natural writer. She has a gift, and it flows freely. Read any one of her published books and you’ll feel her humor, her wit…her intelligence. Though it’s not difficult for her to write, she does put hard effort into getting it done, so the world can read it. Even with an ill child, she makes sure she takes care of her followers. Linda pursues big dreams, and that stirs something in me. I know I’m not the only one on here who looks up to her, who sees her as a mentor. Her passion for writing inspires me.

Linda is a mom. The kind of mom everyone should have. The kind who has to work harder than the other moms, just due to the hand she was dealt in life. We know all moms work hard, are loving and kind… but when medical concerns overshadow all the normal parts of child rearing, child rearing no longer becomes “normal”. It requires a badass mom. Luckily for her kids, that is exactly what they have.  She finds strength when she’s not feeling strong. She finds patience when she’s seemingly at the end of her rope. I know this because she shares some of it with the world. I’m sure not all of it, but I get to glimpse enough to know. No matter how trying it can be, she somehow carries on, with a sense of humor and grace. Sometimes, after I read about one of her typical days, I exhale, and just want to hug her. I’ll bet some of you do, too.

Linda is a woman. A hilarious woman (I’ve seen the way her brain works in SOCS… sometimes, it’s more of a twisted hilariousness…).  A woman who is not afraid to take chances and believe in herself, and others. A woman who is generous, compassionate and sharing…particularly to the hundreds of bloggers she’s never even met. Quick to offer advice, support, validation. Linda is authentic and vulnerable and brave. She reminds me if that quote, “she turned her can’ts into cans and her dreams into plans”.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Linda.

 

 

 

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 29/18

 

 

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All the more precious

I write about love a lot on here. Not so much love stories, or being in love…more like the struggle of love. Which is ironic, because real love should not be a struggle at all.  It is for me, though. Not as much, lately, but something I’ll probably be working on for the rest of my life…and likely during the next life, too.

Last year, I wrote a blog post about a really difficult, yet amazing time in my life. These difficult, amazing times make for the best writing from me, if I do say so myself. I often go back and read this particular story about the deer, it’s that amazing. You can read it here.

The reason I’m sharing this post from last year is not to promote it, or get out of writing something worthy tonight. I received a decent amount of comments on that post, considering I’m not well-known in the blogging world. One comment in particular has stuck with me all this time. I reference a phrase from it almost weekly, at times…in my mind. I’ve never said it out loud or written it down. It just plays in my mind, like someone softly speaking it to me when I least expect it. I don’t really know why it’s stuck with me. Must be part of God’s plan. That’s what I tend to say when I can’t figure something out, “It must be God’s plan for me to fall in love with emotionally unavailable men”. It’s a great way to deflect responsibility. But sometimes, I think it’s true. Sometimes, you just gotta give it to God, or you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

Anyway, I’ve been repeating this phrase from that one comment a lot lately. Dealing with love, or more accurately, the loss of love. More like the loss of the idea of love…my expectations of love. God, there was a period of time during the past few years where I didn’t think I was capable of even feeling love, let alone worthy of receiving love. I’ve grown past those feelings, a bit. Not by experiencing love, per say…but by facing the loss of my expectations, I’ve been able to grieve the love I thought I should have had. Well, I’m still grieving, to be honest. Does grief ever truly end? I’m not sure it does. I think you just learn to live around it. Or through it. You spend your life fluidly dancing around it then diving right in and sinking a bit. I never even knew you could grieve a feeling or emotion, did you? I also didn’t realize you could grieve a person when he was still alive. Trust me, you can.

Anyway, back to this comment I was talking about. It was from Finding A Sober Miracle on WordPress. We didn’t know each other at all when she wrote this. Since then, we’ve developed a connection. Another part of God’s plan I haven’t quite figured out just yet. So, she reads my post about the deer and my fears and trauma and confusion and she just opens up her heart and speaks to me….

“Please know that nothing could ever change y our worth in the slightest. If anything, you are all the more precious for being the lost lamb.”

Why do I keep repeating “you are all the more precious for being the lost lamb”? Over and over and over…for a good year and a half now.

I suppose I really am a lost lamb. I’ve had the people I love most in this world walk away from me this year. I know it’s them, and not me. I get it all. I understand their capabilities. I realize my value is not lessened because other’s can’t see it.  But I’m still the lost lamb. Understanding someone’s behavior doesn’t make the tears go away. Knowing why you can’t be in a family any longer doesn’t make you feel any less lost. Overcoming a life of trauma does not mean you won’t be traumatized as an adult, and overcoming abandonment issues is challenging when you are currently being abandoned. Does this make me more precious to God? I hope so. I hope there’s some divine reason for it…

I’m giving it to God.

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 13/18

 

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Not a single word spoken

I have been neglecting my blog. Even worse, I’ve been neglecting my friend’s blogs…my community on here. I’m sorry.

There’s so many things to blame it on…I’m back in college now, at age 46. No easy task for a single mom who works full time. Not to mention I still take drum lessons, go to church and attend my weekly meditation class. I’m keeping up with book club, and socializing with my friends. My boys are growing, and we are spending time getting them new clothes, new shoes, track gear, hair cuts…we even toured a few colleges last week (yikes!)

One of our Yarmouth police officers was shot and killed in the line of duty last week. Our town is still grieving the loss. Life is fleeting and each day is a gift…please don’t ever forget that.

I started this blog amidst turmoil in my life. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me, if I was going to be able to handle things…if I was going to heal. Well, turmoil still rears it’s ugly head from time to time, but I’ve learned how to remain at peace while it surrounds me, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. And yes, I sure can handle things now. Like a boss. And of course…I did heal.

I suppose accomplishing all these things is what’s kept me from here lately…I’ve been living…really living. Experiencing each day with intent, with purpose, with gratitude. I think about everyone on here…you all know who you are. The ones who supported me, cheered me on, lifted me up when I didn’t know how to do that for myself. I didn’t seek you out…the universe brought each one of you into my life for a reason. My amazing blogger friends, so dear to me. You all take turns popping in my head at random times. My tribe. That’s how you know who your tribe is…you can go quite some time without a single word spoken, yet still be an active part of each other’s existence. I know we all have friends like this in our lives, but you guys are different…we’ve never even met. I think that’s something special…don’t you?

Well, this is NOT where I thought this Stream of Social Consciousness was going to go, but I suppose that’s the whole point of this thing. I thought I was going to simply write about why I haven’t been writing. Turned out to be a lesson in gratitude.

 

 

This post was written in response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness. Check it out at the link below. She rocks.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 21/18

 

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