My nest is empty.
This week felt like a marathon. I come from a long line of procrastinators, and that gene never skips a generation. My son spent his last night at home, and even morning, packing up his life for his freshman year at college.
I have two sons, 18 and 20. Even though I’d sent one off to school already, I still surprised myself with the bittersweet emotions. In no way was I a hot mess, but there was a lot going on inside me yesterday as we hugged goodbye in his dorm room. My eyes glistened throughout the day.
No one ever prepares us for the repeated grief we experience as our children grow. It happens in the blink of an eye, and in slow motion all at the same time. I wish there was a way to know when each part of their childhood was about to end, so we could savor those last moments of holding our hand, playing games together or hugging in public. We never realize when the last hand-holding is over until it’s not happening anymore. I think we all would savor that moment with gratitude, if we knew. I suppose their independence is proof we did our jobs correctly. My sons are prepared to handle the world on their own, at least these parts of it. Still, I miss the feeling of their tiny hands in mine. Enough to cause my heart to ache a bit.
My favorite moments of move-in day were when each child hugged me…as frequently as I needed them to. It’s true when they say that kids eventually come full circle. The days of avoiding mom’s love in public are over! My heart smiles.
Parenting is an amazing process of learning to let go of our attachments, over and over again, and feeling good about it when it happens. Easier said than done. I miss those little boys. It tugs on my heartstrings to realize the childhood season of their lives is over. But I know that having an empty nest means I did my job. These young men are embarking on their journeys, and oh, the places they will go!
This post was written in response to Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday
The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 28, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)
I totally understand you, I have three sons all grown and flown 💜💜
Conflicting emotions for sure!
Yes indeed and it can get more so .. 💜
It never got easier with each one.
No, it sure doesn’t. Now I understand how my own mom felt when I grew up. I think I need to go call her:)
Good idea.
I feel you Mama. Job well done. I’m not looking forward to when my son moves out (won’t be any time soon), as much as I want him to spread his wings and fly.
Yeah, I want them to spread their wings and fly, just not too far!
. Parenting is a tough and wonderful job. The days are long, but the years are short. They will always be your boys, but now you get to explore more time for you!
My oldest said to me today “I am capable of handling pretty much everything on my own, at this point…but it’s a LOT easier with your help.” That made me smile💙
<3 You sure did a good job!
This was so tender and lovely. I am not a Mum so can only imagine but that image of you holding their little hands.. that really moved me, Jami.
Thank you, my friend. When we finished moving him in, we drove over to my eldest sons house up there to help with a few things. He and I went to the store and as we walked down an aisle, our hands accidentally bumped together so I clasped his in mine…and he LET me! I was glowing😍
Aww that makes my heart do a leap and smile Jami. How special…🌹
This tugged at my heart too remembering when my first was in a little baby blue summer jumpsuit holding my hand, and in the other a sand pail as we went out the door to the backyard…though one is 34 and other soon to be 40.
I was a hot mess! For several years in fact. But life does eventually open up to new adventures and growth. Your writing is, as always, so poignant.
My eldest actually came back with me after I dropped my youngest off and spent the weekend. So my empty nest was postponed…till about 5 minutes ago when he drove away. I just cried (loudly!) Thank you for sharing, my friend💕
This is a lovely stream of consciousness piece, as it narrates and flows soulfully while presenting relatable discoveries and emotion!
This tugs at me each time I read it. Even a year later. 🙂
A few days ago, my friend and I were talking about this. We have to develop new interests. Of course, we will miss our children, but life goes on.