“Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
Indisputably the BEST line from Dirty Dancing. It’s goosebumps material. For the random outlier who hasn’t seen this movie, it’s the climax of the film. Baby is a teenager who is kept under her father’s thumb, living her life based on his expectations and, more so, his restraints. She was trained to live quietly and appropriately in the shadows. Patrick Swayze’s character is the dance instructor at their summer vacation retreat and stands up to her father using this line. They then dance the dance of a lifetime, her father realizes the error of his ways and everyone lives happily ever after.
I always end up feeling a surge of energy at that line, and more often than not, will clap or pump my fist in the air with some sort of verbal affirmation. “Damn STRAIGHT nobody does!” or, “Hell YES!” I can’t help it. It’s an automatic reflex. This scene is what fairy-tales are made of. What woman hasn’t daydreamed about an attractive, sensitive, talented man standing up for her? Regardless of gender, I think we can all relate to how good it feels to be noticed and validated. Knowing that someone thinks you are worth standing up for can bring a tear to your eye.
I spent the better part of a lifetime daydreaming about a scenario like Baby’s. I don’t need to anymore, because someone DID rescue me from the corner I’d been assigned to my entire life. That someone was me.
I’ve since used my validation skills like a superpower to rescue others from the corner. If the stars align, they use that experience as a stepping-stone to learning how to validate themselves. Or, at least, that’s what I hope happens. As a home care nurse, I have the unique opportunity to see my patient’s family dynamics in their natural habitat. It always fascinates me to see family members delegating their loved ones to sit silently in the corner of their lives, without even realizing that this is what they are doing. More often than not, it never even occurs to the person assigned to the corner that stepping into the center of the room is even a possibility.
Many dysfunctional family dynamics have been a part of my patient’s daily lives for decades and are way beyond a quick pep-talk from a nurse. One episode of validation is not going to substitute for marriage therapy. But, you’d be amazed at how effective a conversation can be, in regards to making someone feel worthy. Even if it’s a quick chat that normalizes an eighty year-old woman’s emotions. She may opt to continue sitting in the corner, and that’s absolutely her right. But, there’s nothing like seeing an old woman’s eyes sparkle because she finally feels “seen.”
Do you ever notice anyone delegated to the corner? Consider letting them know you can see them. You might like how it feels to have a superpower.
This post was written in response to Linda G. Hill’s “Stream of Consciousness Saturday”
The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2021 Daily Prompt – Jan. 2nd
