I think my soul got a little tired these past few weeks. Initially, I thought maybe I was just giving up. It frustrated me, because there didn’t seem to be any specific reason why. I mean, no other reason than the obvious ones, which have been there all along. Nothing was different, except for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve cried every single day.
I likened it to an ant. I’ve heard an ant can carry like a thousand times it’s own body weight. Amazing strength, right? But I wonder, how long can they carry it for? I imagine if they carry the weight of the world for too long, eventually their legs buckle and it just crushes them. Or maybe they just lie down under it all, surrendering. After awhile, that weight just becomes painful. Or even excruciating.
I guess it makes sense. They say for a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.
I’ve been known to have my best experiences of personal growth after periods of intense pain. I know this, so I allow myself to sit in the swamp during these times, as I have faith that I will find my way out. I always do.
I haven’t cried in two days. I can feel the change. The light is coming back. I’m looking forward to seeing which version of me emerges. Before you know it, I’ll be hanging by the sea with my tin cup chalice…content.
The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 22/18
This post was written in response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday
Great!
Your coming out of your cocoon! Maybe it’s just the time of year. It seems to be an awkward mash-up of memories and frustration. Maybe it’s a chance to purge what should be left behind before starting a new year. I’m being flooded with memories that I kind of re-experience, then forgive, then let go. It’s a draining process but I’m know I’ll be lighter in the long run. ; )
I don’t know why I never responded to these comments on here. I guess December was busy!
I think maybe there is more than one cocoon. Or maybe layers to the cocoon. I think I just came out of another one, just in the last month..right at the new year. New year, new me😉
I’ve been in Florida for a couple of weeks, which puts me waaaaay behind in the blog world. I agree with you that there is more than one cocoon. This Saturday I’m doing my first “workshop.” Just one hour at a yoga studio, but still! I’m in training for your 2020 event. It will be a very small group, and possibly just me and the studio owner. ; )
By the way, I saw feathers everywhere in Clearwater Beach, and thought about you. 💕
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant
High hopes.
I have those moments/hours/afternoons when my soul or body feels tired and I don’t know why. It’s frustrating. Sometimes I know I need to cry and do. Other times, I have no idea. The good thing is that even though it can feel overwhelming at the time, I have learned that it passes with rest and time. Maybe these are growing pains. I know this: We are going to be okay. Better than okay. The light is coming!
I’m kind of glad I didn’t reply to all of these posts when they came in… I’m in a completely different frame of mind right now and I’ll tell you what… The light DID come!!😊
🙂