Tag Archives: empty nest

My nest is empty

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My nest is empty.

This week felt like a marathon. I come from a long line of procrastinators, and that gene never skips a generation. My son spent his last night at home, and even morning, packing up his life for his freshman year at college.

I have two sons, 18 and 20. Even though I’d sent one off to school already, I still surprised myself with the bittersweet emotions. In no way was I a hot mess, but there was a lot going on inside me yesterday as we hugged goodbye in his dorm room. My eyes glistened throughout the day.

No one ever prepares us for the repeated grief we experience as our children grow. It happens in the blink of an eye, and in slow motion all at the same time. I wish there was a way to know when each part of their childhood was about to end, so we could savor those last moments of holding our hand, playing games together or hugging in public. We never realize when the last hand-holding is over until it’s not happening anymore. I think we all would savor that moment with gratitude, if we knew. I suppose their independence is proof we did our jobs correctly. My sons are prepared to handle the world on their own, at least these parts of it. Still, I miss the feeling of their tiny hands in mine. Enough to cause my heart to ache a bit.

My favorite moments of move-in day were when each child hugged me…as frequently as I needed them to. It’s true when they say that kids eventually come full circle. The days of avoiding mom’s love in public are over! My heart smiles.

Parenting is an amazing process of learning to let go of our attachments, over and over again, and feeling good about it when it happens. Easier said than done. I miss those little boys. It tugs on my heartstrings to realize the childhood season of their lives is over. But I know that having an empty nest means I did my job. These young men are embarking on their journeys, and oh, the places they will go!

This post was written in response to Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 28, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)

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On the couch

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Here I am, lying on the couch on Labor Day weekend, realizing I haven’t logged into my blog since May. Damn. I’m supposed to be better than this.

I guess I’ve got some pretty valid excuses. I just moved my oldest son up to college yesterday. I tried holding on to each minute with him over the past year, and this summer I could see the last few drops of sand falling through the hourglass. I spent every moment with him that I could. That he would allow. I cried yesterday. Of course, my 18 years of work..the love, the lost sleep, the money, the driving, the setting of examples, the cuddling, the nurturing…it was all for this moment. Fly, little bird…fly.

I’ve also been distracted by a tumor growing in my colon. Don’t fret, it’s not cancer. It’s endometriosis. A funky disease that not too many people talk about. Hell, I’m a hospital trained nurse and even I never knew how nasty this can be. It’s invasive, like a weed. It multiplies, forms adhesions, invades organs and sticks organs together. It affects urinary function, bowel function…basically fucks up anything it touches. It causes excruciating pain and debilitating loss of organ function, and symptoms are cyclical, meaning they vary, depending on your hormones. Did I mention loss of function yet? Fun! And it’s incurable. Many women in my online support group have had over 20 surgeries. It just keeps growing back. Mine’s invaded the wall of my colon, causing a partially obstructing mass. I’ll be having it removed, along with as much as they can get of the other endometriosis all over my pelvic cavity. Surgery is in 26 days. Send me good vibes, people.

I start my 3rd semester of school in 9 days. Taking 9 credits this time around, so it should be interesting to see how I’m going to pull it off while recovering from this big surgery. I’m supposed to be getting a head start on reading a book for my “Women of Modern China” course, but hey…why not blog instead? Why not do ANYTHING instead?

In my defense, I have been writing. Just not here. I started a second blog www.storytellerscapecod.com There’s only two posts on it. As you can see, I’ve been a bit distracted lately. Not to mention, I live on Cape Cod, and it’s boating season.

I’m also having my 3rd article published in a nursing journal this October. It’s been awesome working with the editors, learning how to trim without losing the essence of the story.

OK, ya’ll are caught up. I’m transferring from the couch to bed, bringing the heating pad with me. My abdomen feels like it’s being torn into pieces tonight. Never thought I’d be looking forward to a surgery, but here we are. I’m sure once I start school and have the operation, I’ll be missing from WordPress again. I do hope to catch up on everyone’s posts soon. Such a great community here on wordpress. I love you guys, even when I don’t show up.

This post was written in response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS August 31/19
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