Ask someone else

My friend, Linda G. Hill, runs a writing group here on WordPress. She actually has a few of them, but I take part in her Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday one. She gives us a word or phrase as a prompt, and we organically write about it. No edits allowed, other than fixing typos. It’s a pretty neat idea, and often interesting to see what comes out. Often, it’s not what you intend when you start the essay. I started writing in this blog as part of my healing process, though lately it seems I only write because I receive her prompt. Time gets away from me, and I’m grateful to have Linda gently kicking me in the butt, keeping me writing. I think sometimes I’m so busy being a mom and a nurse and wearing all the other hats I wear, that I forget that I’m a writer. Thankfully, she reminds me.

I’ve never met her, and only know her from her blog, so we’ll see how this comes out. I wrote a similar post a few weeks ago ( I am ) which was inspired by one of her own posts. I thought it might be neat to see what she is to me. This week’s prompt is “ask someone else”, meaning to ask someone else for the prompt. As she is tending to her sick child, I suggested she take that prompt and use it in her real life, asking someone else to manage the blogging world for a bit. One can only juggle so much, Linda. So, I’m taking it upon myself to write this week’s post for you, in case you find yourself with too much going on…

Who is Linda?

Linda is a writer.

Linda is a mom.

Linda is a woman.

Linda is a natural writer. She has a gift, and it flows freely. Read any one of her published books and you’ll feel her humor, her wit…her intelligence. Though it’s not difficult for her to write, she does put hard effort into getting it done, so the world can read it. Even with an ill child, she makes sure she takes care of her followers. Linda pursues big dreams, and that stirs something in me. I know I’m not the only one on here who looks up to her, who sees her as a mentor. Her passion for writing inspires me.

Linda is a mom. The kind of mom everyone should have. The kind who has to work harder than the other moms, just due to the hand she was dealt in life. We know all moms work hard, are loving and kind… but when medical concerns overshadow all the normal parts of child rearing, child rearing no longer becomes “normal”. It requires a badass mom. Luckily for her kids, that is exactly what they have.  She finds strength when she’s not feeling strong. She finds patience when she’s seemingly at the end of her rope. I know this because she shares some of it with the world. I’m sure not all of it, but I get to glimpse enough to know. No matter how trying it can be, she somehow carries on, with a sense of humor and grace. Sometimes, after I read about one of her typical days, I exhale, and just want to hug her. I’ll bet some of you do, too.

Linda is a woman. A hilarious woman (I’ve seen the way her brain works in SOCS… sometimes, it’s more of a twisted hilariousness…).  A woman who is not afraid to take chances and believe in herself, and others. A woman who is generous, compassionate and sharing…particularly to the hundreds of bloggers she’s never even met. Quick to offer advice, support, validation. Linda is authentic and vulnerable and brave. She reminds me if that quote, “she turned her can’ts into cans and her dreams into plans”.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Linda.

 

 

 

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 29/18

 

 

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Tin Cup Chalice

I think my soul got a little tired these past few weeks. Initially, I thought maybe I was just giving up. It frustrated me, because there didn’t seem to be any specific reason why. I mean, no other reason than the obvious ones, which have been there all along. Nothing was different, except for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve cried every single day.

I likened it to an ant. I’ve heard an ant can carry like a thousand times it’s own body weight. Amazing strength, right? But I wonder, how long can they carry it for? I imagine if they carry the weight of the world for too long, eventually their legs buckle and it just crushes them. Or maybe they just lie down under it all, surrendering. After awhile, that weight just becomes painful. Or even excruciating.

I guess it makes sense.  They say for a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

I’ve been known to have my best experiences of personal growth after periods of intense pain. I know this, so I allow myself to sit in the swamp during these times, as I have faith that I will find my way out. I always do.

I haven’t cried in two days. I can feel the change. The light is coming back. I’m looking forward to seeing which version of me emerges. Before you know it, I’ll be hanging by the sea with my tin cup chalice…content.

 

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 22/18

This post was written in response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday

 

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Life manuals

Don’t you wish life came with manuals? I mean, your car, your refrigerator and your television come with one. Why don’t life challenges have them?

I think when we are 12, we should be handed one about how to survive middle school. Those years can be pretty tough. Wouldn’t it have been helpful to read the section about how to handle being bullied? Or even more importantly, for the BULLY to read about how to not be a jerk. I would have benefited from both. Or, at the very least, “how to eat at the lunch table alone without feeling like a total loser”.

When we apply for a marriage license, they shouldn’t issue it without having us read the manual on communication, respect, sharing household chores, dealing with a snoring spouse, how to discuss finances, equally sharing child rearing duties…I bet some of us might decide against tying the knot if we really knew what we were in for.

There should be a manual for aging. No one ever tells you what to really expect once you get old. I suppose if they did fill you in on congestive heart failure, dementia and diabetic foot wounds, you’d spend the prime years of your life worrying about what’s ahead. How can you enjoy your youth when you know you won’t be able to afford home health care and will likely need to live in a facility? Maybe ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

I met a man this summer dealing with the shock of his teenage daughter’s sexual assault. I spent an evening helping him navigate through the roller coaster of emotions which is the result of this kind of trauma. He shared a conversation he had with her, where he was raising his voice, asking why she hadn’t fought back, or yelled or did something to stop it. He reminded her how he told her she shouldn’t be hanging around with older boys. In the same breath, he told me how he couldn’t understand why she now thinks he doesn’t want her living with him. I shook my head. “Your daughter is already beating herself up for these same exact things. Having her dad tell her she’s right is only adding to her shame”. I went on to tell him my own, very similar story, and the ramifications of having family members just not know how to respond. He looked at me, deflated, and said “I feel awful. I just didn’t know”. I responded, “Of course you didn’t know. Why would you? There’s no manual on this subject”. We sat in silence for a bit, just sort of absorbing the gravity of it all. I remember sitting in the passenger seat of his truck, looking at him as he gripped that steering wheel so tightly. I was the adult version of his daughter, and he was the younger version of my dad. God, I wonder how differently things might have turned out for me if this conversation took place in my own life. I thought to myself, “There should be a manual”.

There should be a manual.

Stay tuned…

 

 

This post was written in response to Linda G Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 1/18

 

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail