My inner critic is a bitch. She’s strong. And she’s smart. She knows exactly how to play the game, waiting for just the right time to open her mouth. Right when I’m feeling I’m about to do something good or have something amazing happen to me. “Hold on a minute, Jami…who do you think you are?”
This inner critic has run the show for the better part of my 47 years. I didn’t even realize she existed until recently. I always thought she was just me. That’s how good she is.
I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. We all have one. That voice of self-doubt, shame, uncertainty, negativity…it’s like a chameleon, able to change it’s tactics on a whim and keep you wondering. So smart.
But I’m smart, too. And if I’m going to be brutally honest here, I can be a pretty spectacular bitch, or so I’ve been told. I’m on to her now. Yes, it might take me a few days, but I’ve learned her tricks, and all of the stealthy ways she camouflages herself. And I shut her down. Because really, all she is composed of is fear. Fear, along with old coping mechanisms and faulty childhood wiring. Turns out, her strength was fed by my ignorance. Now that I know who she is and what she’s made of, and I know who I am and what I’m made of, she’s not so strong anymore…but I am. My strength feeds off her weakness.
Excellent plot twist.
This post was written in response to Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Social Consciousness Saturday
I’m cheering as I’m reading this!! Seeing myself in every word. Thank you so much for this.
I can’t tell if my replies never posted, or if I never made any! But I can’t see any of my replies here now, so I’ll start over, lol! Glad it resonated with you!
I remember reading something about our inner critic being fear based and that we can send some kind of love and reassurance to that voice. It was and is a revolutionary idea to me, a bit hard to fathom. Maybe this inner critic is the voice of a confused child acting out as bullies try to do to cover up their fear. The most important thing is that you’ve made it clear that you are strong and in charge!
I like the inner child-bully idea. It sounds perfect! Sorry I’m so late🙄
No need to apologize for being “late.” You’ve been living life! 🙂
Love this! The faulty childhood wiring resonates loudly with me and I’m so glad you figured her out and how to shut her up. It is what I work at daily. Sometimes successful and other days not, but it is all a work in progress.
Thanks for sharing this great writing.
I’m glad it resonates with you! Always a work in progress. I’m slowly realizing that this is what life is for…the work, the progress…not so much the end result
That inner critic doesn’t stand a chance against a determined and self-aware Jami! Thx for sharing!
“My strength feeds off her weakness.” Love this! So very true. As for being a bitch, join the club. I learned from my mom. And yes, she comes from fear. Great work you’ve done.
Thank you! I have no idea why I am now responding to these posts on here, blame it on me being in school I guess.
I’m glad to have such good company in the bitch club😉
Oh, so excellent. <3
💕
Really relate to this. Fear fear fear is all the critic knows… I sometimes imagine giving it a hug to disarm it.. But you can imagine the reaction! LOL.
Maybe a big hug is exactly what it needs. Catch it off guard😊