Writer’s Block

I have my first case of writer’s block. I’m pretty sure it’s because this is the first writing I’ve ever felt I had to do. My posts on here all flow out of me naturally. I witness significant things and want to share them. There’s no pressure. It’s easy.

I have to write my stepfather’s obituary. I offered to. It made sense, at the time, because I’m “the writer”. I thought it would be a piece of cake, just like all my essays on here. It’s not. I’m holding back from even starting, and I can’t figure out why.

I gathered information and personal details from his daughter and my mom.  Turns out, a lot of his life wasn’t filled with happiness. I have to figure out how to omit those things without feeling like I’m falsifying his life. I’ve never written fiction before, and don’t want to start now, with this. I also don’t want to minimize anything about this man, his life, his feelings…or his memory. I’m nervous I might tarnish it if I put too much in, yet also worried about not sharing enough to let the world know how great he was.  I witnessed some pretty significant things during my time caring for this man, so this is an important job.

I can see the obituary floating around, in various pieces, in my mind. I know if I just start writing things down, it will probably start to form on its own. So…why can’t I start?

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20 thoughts on “Writer’s Block”

  1. I don’t know the specifics, but can you incorporate any of the sad things by saying something like “In spite of being faced with…he…” I don’t know, it’s a tough one for sure.

    1. Well, a lot of it is family dynamics…and a lot is the psychological effects of said dynamics, on top of being a war veteran…just so tough…

  2. “My stepfather was a wonderful man and I loved him dearly.”
    Maybe start with something simple and personal and branch out?

    1. I’m just going to blurt it out this weekend and see what comes out…not think ahead of time. Maybe I’ll meditate before it to clear my mind and then let loose. I really have no idea why this is so stressful…

      1. I’m sure you feel pressure! You are supposed to some how sum up this man’s life and give a tribute in 3 minutes! That’s impossible. Just know that whatever you say will be good enough and his life will have spoken for itself.

          1. Just read it. It was really really good. You put your heart and soul into that! That writing is something to be really proud of. You really captured who he was!

  3. You said it: you don’t want to write fiction. Just remember that every coin has two sides. You see that much of his life wasn’t filled with happiness- look for the silver lining. I have been substituting the word challenge in place of the word hard; so you might mention that he had challenges in life, and from them he learned compassion, strength, tenacity, durability… whatever. Get the drift? As my husband says, “It’s not the job you do, it’s the story you tell.”

    1. I finally did it. I had to rearrange words SO many times, but I’m pretty happy with the results. My mom cried and smiled at the same time and said “perfect” 🙂

  4. It’s in your last sentence and its important so its hard and there is pressure. You want to get it right and fear you might not do his life justice. It will flow right out of you once you stop overthinking it. You got nothing to worry about and you got this, I know. Hugs

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